nostalgic

I just realized that it was one year ago to this day that I left Chicago for good.

Tonight I was feeling nostalgic. In all honesty, I was feeling nostalgic for the :forgotten: years at DePaul; my first two years. I credit my junior year of college as being a pivotal one for me. I met some amazing people and learned more about myself in that one year than I had in my previous 19 years of existence. I finally knew who I was and the type of person I wanted to be. I know that some people couldn't understand this revelation and a number of relationships suffered because of it. But would I change that experience? Absolutely not. It was as much confusion as it was sense; lonliness as it was acceptance; pain as it was happiness. I am where I am today because of it.

But I had a very different life my freshman and sophomore years of college. And it's something I don't think much about anymore simply because my life shifted so drastically. But I was happy and grew up a lot during those first two years of college. My two best friends and I were inseparable, doing everything together. One was like a brother to me, someone I could rely on constantly. The other was a boy who was always slightly more than a friend, someone who I could loathe one minute but depend on the next. These two friends helped me break out of my shell and insecurities. They were truly my best friends.

In some ways, I wish I could relieve those moments: sitting on the edge of one's bed, watching them create wrestling entrances until the wee hours of the morning; or waiting after a Cubs' game for players to come out and sign autographs; or getting dinner every night in the Student Center, ''ooing'' and ''aahing'' everytime we saw a basketball player. And who could forget the time we stood in line at some guy's apartment waiting to get our pictures taken for our fake ids? Or celebrating my 19th birthday in the dorm rooms, drinking cheap beer and playing Circle of Death? Or ending our nights at our favorite bar, O'Malleys, and then getting drunken McDonalds? How about going to the local park and playing catch with a bunch of elementary kids during recess? Getting the chance to go up to the press box at Wrigleyfield and get our picture taken with Len Kasper? Dressing up as Prince, Michael Jackson, and Madonna for Halloween? "Grounding" the person who threw up the previous weekend; Friday nights at Chilis and Sports Authority; and so on and so on.

I miss those years a lot. More than I ever thought. Things have changed, however, and friendships have drifted apart. While my relationship with both boys may not be ideal, they both hold an important part of my life that I can never deny. And maybe one day (soon), we can have that true reunion: a night at O'Malleys where it always was good.