grandma and grandpa

i've been really emotional this week. now, it could be the move coupled with hormones that's causing it, but i also think looking at old pictures of my deceased grandparents had a lot to do with it. i miss them, so much. they were such a big part of my life for so long and i know i'll never forget them and the way they talked and the way they laughed... anyways. in the midst of one of my break-downs, i started writing about them and this is what came out. it was actually very therapeutic:

I keep thinking about my grandparents and how they were together for nearly 60 years. How much they loved one another and took care of one another. My grandma had said she wanted to go first because she couldn’t imagine living without Grandpa. And she did. She had her stroke in early 2007 and was placed in a nursing home. But every day, Grandpa visited her. He would hold her hand watch TV with her, talk with her. And when he said good-bye –something I once witnessed—he would kiss her on the forehead and tell her he would see her tomorrow. And then she died and I never saw a more defeated man. How do you go from being with someone, living with the same person, for nearly 60 years, and all of a sudden, you’re alone. Your bed is empty; you make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for one; you struggle with laundry, cleaning; you have to sit in your home –a home you built together 55 years ago—alone. Sure you have your children and grandchildren visit, but it’s not the same. They have their own lives and families to deal with.

Grandpa was diagnosed with cancer after Grandma’s death. He knew he was dying. But I don’t think the cancer or anything else medical resulted in his death. I think it was heart. I think –no, I know—he was ready to be with her again. And so, he went, six months after my Grandma died.

Their love story inspires me and gives me hope that one day I’ll find someone to give my own heart to. Someone I will love completely until my dying day. Grandma must have been comforted knowing Grandpa was there as she slipped away. And I am 100% convinced she was there for him when it was his time. I generally don’t believe in heaven, but I do when I think of them. Nothing gives me greater peace, comfort, and happiness thinking of them up there, together, in their rose garden. Swinging back and forth, holding hands, waiting for the rest of their family.